it wasn't until 2 years after we started dating that she said she was keeping this diary of yours and let me read it, but I wish I hadn't, seriously. There were so many detailed plans for suicide, how many my mother was not called to school. In short, because of this, I decided to set her up with my "nerds", I thought that at least she would forget her thoughts. But in the end, you know how it ended.
But I keep wondering if she swallowed the bleach and foam herself. Maybe it was hidden, so as not to make a noise? What do you say, Katsu?" Maybe the system couldn't find a place for it, so it decided to quietly get rid of my Rose?
Did you know that this Exupery described his wife in The Little Prince in the Rose? Heh-heh, can I also write about my fairy tale, where we will be together? What do you think about it, Katsu? " – and this monologue lasted for 3 hours, until he realized that I did not care about his red rose.
I just stared at the wall and felt my body getting lighter and lighter, and then my vision started to darken. I felt like I was submerged in water, listening to the muffled sounds coming from far away, until I completely lost consciousness.
I opened my eyes an hour ago and saw Sophie's agitated face above me. She still treats me like a son, and it's comforting. So she won't leave me, like Mom and Dad did.
Day 11.
Today is Tuesday, January 10, 2069.
16:52. I didn't go out for a walk, despite Sophie's pleas, because I can't stand the sun, even if it's hidden behind clouds. I haven't opened the curtains in the ward since this morning.
Ail rarely comes here, apparently he's bored with me. Diana continues to write to me every day, but now our conversations take a maximum of 10 minutes.
18:22. I went to the window for the 3rd time, because I heard my name called, but looking at the street, I couldn't find anyone. Now I can hear the children shouting, "Catsu, Catsu, come with us!" but now I won't even look. These are just sound hallucinations. I need to tell the doctor about them, but I'm too lazy.
Sophie has already given up hope of getting me out of the room, so she brings food here, so thoughtful.
01:52. I can't sleep because of the voices in my head. I need to go to the nurses, but I don't want to get out of bed.
Day 12.
Today is Thursday, January 12, 2069.
17: 32.I didn't write anything down yesterday because I was asleep all the time.
Today, Sophie does not allow this and constantly lifts me out of bed, then there to help, then there to go, then you need to go for breakfast or lunch, and then another walk. In the yard, she told me to clean the snow that had been falling all day. So now I'm exhausted. Ail was surprisingly quiet in the room, texting with someone, following the daily routine and not going anywhere, so the snow was falling all the time.
Yesterday, he was very annoyed, quarreled with the nurse, who constantly treated him to sweets. And he was rude to Diana on the phone, and I think it's also a side reaction to the medication.
Training will start soon, and I don't have the strength at all. I need to talk to my doctor about this.
Tired.
Day 13.
Today is Friday, January 13, 2069.
13: 11. Ail was urgently transferred to the neurological department, because he began to have seizures.
I won't write any more today, even if Sophie insists.
Day 14.
Today is January 14, 2069, Saturday.
06: 22. Sleep:
I am 8 years old, I am in a country two-story wooden house. I went through all the rooms looking for my parents. I went out into the yard, ran around the entire territory, went into the garage and warehouse, but found no one. It was getting dark outside, and I decided to look for my parents in the nearest forest, but before I could enter it, I heard a loud shout, they were calling for me. When I turned around, I saw our house completely engulfed in flames. The door was open, and through it I noticed my parents standing in the hallway. They beckoned me with their hand, saying, " Katsu, dear, come to us, we missed you. Catsu… Catsu! " There was a crackle of fire all around. I heard our balcony collapse, but I still went to my parents and cried. I had 5 steps left to fall into their arms, but a glass wall appeared in front of me. I started hitting it, trying to break it, but it didn't work. When I saw the fire coming, I started shouting, " Mom, Dad, go away! There's a fire! Fire! " – but they continued to beckon me to them without moving from their place. Then they were engulfed in flames, and their parents began to moan in pain, begging for forgiveness. Then I woke up in a cold sweat.
Mom and Dad died on November 10, 2068, while flying on a business trip. The plane on which the parents were flying at 15:32 collided with a cargo plane, which had a faulty radar, so it did not send a signal about its location and could not receive it from other planes either. One of the versions of why the workers allowed the faulty plane to take off from the ground is their bribery by the heir of a large company, who received it thanks to the death of his older brother in this crash.
In a couple of seconds I became an orphan, in a moment I lost the
