1) Example from the practice.
Fairy-tale about the forest Nymph (Czech tale)
Once upon a time there lived wealthy peasant. Once in the woods he saw beautiful girl sleeping on the moss. When he approached her girl leaped and wanted to flee. But the peasant grabbed her hand and did not let her go. Examining her dress he realized that he is dealing with the forest Nymph. He liked her so much that he asked whether she would agree to be his wife. Forest Nymph liked the young peasant so she agreed and went to his house. Mother of the peasant was very surprised after she saw who came with her son, but she liked the bride so much that she did not mind for her son to get married on the Nymph.
After the wedding was over wife told to her husband:
– I’ll do everything for you to be happy with me, for you not to ever regret that you’ve married me. But there is only one thing for you never to do – never be angry with me, or I shall leave and you’ll never find me.
Peasant laughed: it was impossible for him to get angry over his wife.
Really, young wife was great housekeeper, everything in their house was perfect, everything was in order – fine on sight! Husband loved his wife, besides, she was behaving perfectly with her mother-in-law. cared of her and obeyed to her in everything. For that old lady loved her as if she would love her own daughter.
Once, before the reaping peasant departed to Prague on business. Every house concern burdened his young wife. On the third day after the peasant’s departure she told workers to reap large field of crop that appeared to be still green. Reapers were surprised thinking of that order as insane. But the young lady insisted, saying that she knew better. She made reapers to reap the green crops and bring it home. Every person in the village just shook their heads in surprise. Next day the peasant returned home. He travelled through the field and saw it reaped. He stopped astonished. Occasionally there was a man from the close-by village and explained that his wife ordered to reap the harvest and bring it home. In sudden rage master started cursing his wife and rushed home. He came and started looking for her but she was gone. And his old mother did not know where the lady was. They both, mother and son, decided that the girl went insane.
Looking for her, peasant ran to the field. Suddenly the sky turned dark and hail started. Master was just happy to find shelter in the shepherd’s hat. And the storm came! Huge hailstones size of a pigeon-egg fell from sky and in half an hour the entire harvest was wiped out.
After the storm peasant left the hat and sadly went back home. He recalled words his wife told him right after the wedding: that she’ll leave if he’ll ever get mad at her, and that he’ll never find her again. And he cursed her so badly for that reaped field! And now he saw that crops would be wiped out anyway. Even if it would not be reaped.
His mother was standing by the gates, watching, whether his son was bringing his wife home. But he said that it was useless to search her.
– You know what I’m going to tell?! – said the old lady. – All the reaped crops in the barn is completely dry and ripe!
That is how it was. Only then the peasant realized that he should not have cursed his wife in rage. But it was too late. he never saw his wife ever again.
* * *
This fairy-tale contains huge amount of images that are typical for human’s life, although covered with fantastic veil. It can be very useful during the family therapy. What should be considered? The perception of fairy-tales has several levels. Moral which is on surface is comprehended immediately. Ant it is great. But it’s just the first step, patient should be stimulated with directing questions to look deeper, fit the situation onto himself, looking for solutions out of situation in own life, making up fantasies on this topic.
Couple that lived together in marriage for 19 years, Natalia and Sergey, asked for help (the wife insisted). Natalia complains that spouse is rude, Sergey says that she is cold with him, that he feels himself useless for them (his wife and son with daughter). They married in strong feelings, first child was born two years after their wedding. Recalling first years of their marriage both say that it was wonderful time. But later everything changed, brightness of life blurred. Love… Where is it? And does it really exist between them?
My first question after reading the tale was:
– What did you just hear?
Husband: Story of a broken promise.
Wife: they gave this promise quite a bit before the marriage…
Me: Did the peasant love his wife?
Both answered: – Certainly!
Me: And the wife, did she love her husband?
Wife: Yes! And she loved him very much! She was good even with mother-in-law. And she took care of the harvest, though nobody understood her that moment.
Husband: If she would love – she wouldn’t leave. Husband might say a lot in bad temper.
Me: Did she leave on her own will?
Husband: Yes! Whose will could have made her do that?! She threatened her spouse once and had to fulfill the threat. Made it principally.
Here ends the first level of tale’s perception. Going further, deepening the perception.
Me: And what if there is something else? What if rudeness was killing her and she was created like that by nature? And she told her husband that not to threaten but to let her spouse know that, in spite of her will, after his rude words she’ll disappear from his life. It was her quality. Anyway, she’s magical forest creature. Not a regular woman.
Wife: So you can be rude with regular woman…
Husband: Usual woman will not threaten to disappear if she’s cursed at.
Me: Sergey, when you fell in love with Natalia, did she seem to be regular? One of millions?
Husband: Of course no! It was… magic! Yes! Like that fellow with forest Nymph. I was thinking only about her.
Me: And you, Natalia, when Sergey told you about his love, could you imagine that he is going to be rude with you? That he will be insulting and humiliating you?
Wife: Of course no! Otherwise I would prefer to die, rather then living up to that. And I would not believe if somebody would have predicted this.
Me: (addressing husband) Didn’t your wife seem to be the magical Nymph to you while you were in love?
Husband nods agreeing. She did.
Me: So, what happened then?
Husband: But she stayed with me!
Me: Nymph stayed?
Wife: Nymph is gone long ago! There is only the woman left.
Me: Did it dement on Nymph whether to stay or to leave?
